but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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