Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so that wasnt chicken after all
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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