she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
