Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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