If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
