thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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