I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
