He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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