You're so nebulous sometimes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
