I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
