She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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