I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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