so that wasnt chicken after all
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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