Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
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So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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