just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
