I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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