Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
