THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
