I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
