You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
