dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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