He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
