exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
