thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
