my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
