respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
now i know why i became what i already was.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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