we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
