We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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