Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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