Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize