You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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