Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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