I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
