I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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