I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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