i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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