i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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