if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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