I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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