yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
In America we eat man semen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
