when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
