dude i'm inner monologue high
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
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Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?