you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Go christen that room with your naked body.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.