Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

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  (775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn
  Replies (196) Good night (2189) Bad night (16935)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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  (732): no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in http://tfl.nu/h08n
  Replies (6) Good night (5730) Bad night (979)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

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  (917): i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far? http://tfl.nu/ph4e
  Replies (59) Good night (6091) Bad night (1395)
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  (718): View more from New York

  He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.

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  (718): He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/c0nn
  Replies (11) Good night (2395) Bad night (5105)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.

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  (203): Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk. http://tfl.nu/6oqy
  Replies (4) Good night (2741) Bad night (776)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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  (785): Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before. http://tfl.nu/gt36
  Replies (6) Good night (1744) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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  (518): My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday. http://tfl.nu/tcvi
  Replies (5) Good night (1822) Bad night (632)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.

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  (765): I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him. http://tfl.nu/g1zb
  Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys

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  (240): i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys http://tfl.nu/z1wp
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (994)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".

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  (678): His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high". http://tfl.nu/jgmh
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

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  (716): Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening http://tfl.nu/obf8
  Replies (4) Good night (387) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Worth it.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth

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  (617): All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless (508): Worth it. (617): I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth http://tfl.nu/dnz7
  Replies (11) Good night (1108) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?

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  (254): The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left? http://tfl.nu/ml3m
  Replies (6) Good night (623) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.

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  (916): Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/njx1
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sleeping with just one person sucks

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  (425): Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings. (425): Sleeping with just one person sucks http://tfl.nu/5vll
  Replies (5) Good night (597) Bad night (373)

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