Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
