fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill