He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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