I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
