Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's like heaven, but drunker
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
