I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
