Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
