Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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