if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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