Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
