If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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