how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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