You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
