Fuck appropriateness.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
