I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.