Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper