After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
