He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
