I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
