so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
